How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships
Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, youâre bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually arenât too hard to solve.
Bridge the gender divide!
Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. Without and open mind, itâs all too easy to write the opposite gender off as âillogicalâ or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.
Listen thoughtfully!
Donât forget that youâre one half of the communication problem. When youâve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, youâll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.
Release the need for blame!
When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and itâs in both your best interests to work it out peacefully.
Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how youâre going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. Specific issues like âWhen you flirt with other people, I feel rejected.â are fine, but sweeping statements like âYou make me miserable.â or âYou stress me out.â are taking it too far.
Stick to the facts!
When trying to talk over problems in relationships, donât bring up any thing you canât prove. Instead, stay with what canât be argued like your own feelings and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying âYou disrespected me in front of my friends.â can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying âI was embarrassed when you told Dave you donât think I should ask for a raise.â is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.
Be frank, but kind!
Youâre not doing anyone any favors by taking a âput up and shut upâ attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where theyâll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isnât trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear youâre unhappy.
Be a friend, not a coach!
Chances are, your partner isnât with you because theyâre hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. Youâre not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. Youâre their friend and lover.
You may think youâre giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.
There, that doesnât sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.