Article 10 In a Series of Articles on Winning Back a Ex Lover

By , December 6, 2014 3:55 pm

Creating a Lasting Relationship

So you have succeeded to win them back and are in a relationship with the person you love again. You need to focus on the importance of creating lasting change and not a temporary solution. This means that you will have to uncover what truly drives your partner, their fears, pain as well as pleasure.

Humans do everything they do to protect themselves from pain or to gain pleasure. Usually, the avoidance of pain is more powerful than gaining pleasure so people will run away and do everything in their power to avoid pain.

Now, if you are back together again that means you have succeeded in rebuilding their trust in you and they believe that you will deliver. So whatever you do, don’t fall back into your old patterns or you will undo all of your work in moments. No matter your fears or insecurities, you have to set them aside and stop expecting the worst as this will ultimately come through and it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Even when things are great people still have the tendency to try and protect themselves from pain because they believe it’s too good to last. When you start thinking like that you begin to pull away and creating walls to protect yourself even though nothing has happened.

Society seems to thrive on pain and we have been conditioned to believe that good things don’t last. But the only reason they don’t last is because we don’t allow them to by allowing our fears to take control of us and eventually sabotaging ourselves.

Another reason relationships end is because we allow ourselves to start taking things for granted after a while as we get caught up in other aspects of our lives and we no longer do all those little things that used to make the relationship wonderful. A relationship is just like a flower that needs to be nurtured and cared for to thrive and but we allow ourself to forget how wonderful we felt when we were giving the relationship everything we have.

The way you can avoid this is by maintaining awareness and focusing on giving to your partner rather than receiving. Don’t allow yourself to lapse into that state of familiarity where you no longer take care of yourself or do those small things that bring a smile to your significant other’s face.

Remember that feeling of joy you get when you see them smile and see the happiness on your face as that will help keep your focus. Your partner will automatically respond to your actions so that you will both avoid the traps of familiarity. As they say, familiarity breeds contempt, which is definitely something you want to avoid.

Variety is the spice of life and small things can have such a big impact on a relationship that your love and passion can last a lifetime. Just because you have been together for years does not mean you shouldn’t bring her flowers or you shouldn’t wait for him in your sexy under-things.

You need to remember what you did at the beginning of the relationship that made it wonderful and what you did that showed your partner you loved them.

The key to a lasting relationship is for both of you to understand what the other needs to feel completely loved. You shouldn’t just focus on what you need but on what your partner needs as well. Of course, it’s also important not to give yourself over completely to just fulfilling your partner’s needs to the exclusion of your own.

You need to strike a balance between making sure you’re both getting what you need out of the relationship.

For example, if your partner feels loved only when you tell them you love them but you have just been buying them things then they won’t feel your love even though you think you are doing your best.

On the other hand maybe you need to be held to feel loved but your partner doesn’t know this is what you need so they keep telling you how they feel. By identifying each other’s emotional needs and how you can satisfy them you will find that your relationship will weather any storm life may throw at it.

Comments are closed

Panorama Theme by Themocracy